I originally wrote a version of the above haiku a long while ago. This one’s different only in that I’ve changed two words (actually, just the same word changed twice) — and I’ve put it in handwriting (because that’s what I do these days).

As you might suspect, this haiku was born of heartbreak — something I’ve experienced once or twice in my life. Unlike some of the more useless poetry I’ve spawned, this one harbors what I consider to be one of the most important lessons I’ve learned about love (or being “in” it).

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please believe in love,
but have the respect to not
speak of it lightly

when we are defined
more by our hate than our love,
everything shrinks

romance is not prone
to producing love that is
unconditional

philosophical
conversations about love
need definition

Last night in bed,
staring into the darkness,
seeing my life flash before me -
a barrage of color, sound, sensation
I hardly recognize today -
the squandered moments rushed back,
markers of each intersection
where my course was set
Then there were others with no signs,
just subtle warnings
of what lay ahead.

And I was the driver,
listening to the music
and tapping rhythm on your thigh,
cresting a hill on the expressway,
seeing the disabled car
half an instant too late.

How is it we so easily
dismiss the peculiarity of the moment,
as if any other
could have taken its place?

Perhaps it’s because
we want to believe,
(as you often said)
every moment,
each opportunity,
is self-orchestrated;
like the universe
is a willing mistress
waiting for our call.

But just before the break of day
as you lay with me,
resting peacefully,
silk hair on my arm,
soft breath on my neck,
I was someplace else,
wondering what I’d done
to have found myself
in a moment like that one.