Have you ever had an argument with someone you care about? Has it ever developed into a situation where something you say ends up causing the other person to cry?

I can say yes to both. More times than I’d like to remember. Whether or not it’s my fault, no matter who may be right or wrong, It’s the kind of thing makes me feel bad. But I don’t know that I want to feel differently in those situations.

I know people who seem capable of hurting others without feeling anything at all. Maybe it’s an act. Maybe I don’t even show my empathetic feelings as much as I think I do. Whatever the case, I don’t know how you could care about someone and not flinch at least a little when you see the tears come into their eyes.

I could never be
as broken as the moment
you begin to weep

never in control
always apologizing
for what will follow

image: World Economic Forum

photo: Chuckumentary

Comments

• May 22, 2008, zaphodfreek writes: Exactly! Truer words my friend, truer words.
• May 22, 2008, howard writes: Thank you. It's high praise indeed when you surface to compliment my minor poetry ;) I was thinking about this one for weeks, which betrays how little I've accomplished in that time. But I wanted to reflect what I've been feeling about the conservative brand of political correctness that tries to shame anyone who attaches even a shred of self-awareness to U.S. foreign policy. Oddly, though, I only started to feel comfortable with this one after I started thinking of how it applied to my personal dealings. Maybe that's fitting.
• May 23, 2008, Heather writes: Charity, and all the rest of it, begin at home. I think it IS fitting. H
• May 23, 2008, howard writes: Agreed. Someone (famous, I think) once said that when you're handed a gift, you are also handed a whip. The whip is for self-flagellation only. I've always liked that. I find that I get lost most easily when I focus solely on improving people and things that aren't me ;)
• May 25, 2008, Qazse writes: I like the whole piece and the discussion which flows from it. To me, "we are not the introspectors" is very strong.
• May 26, 2008, PJ writes: I'm with Qazse. I especially like the introspectors line too. I'm also sensing a bit of a Bible lesson, about plucking beams out of your own eye before whining about the splinter in someone else's? I like that one (and this one).
• May 26, 2008, howard writes: PJ - exactly. I like that story, too. Qazse - thanks. That line was kind of the jumping off point for the poem - it only took me a few days to settle on a word ("introspectors") that apparently doesn't exist. Sometimes I just can't believe that we, as a society, get off on being so blind to our own mannerisms and faults. Even when those mannerisms are pointed out and obvious, we don't counter by changing anything about ourselves, but rather by attacking the observers as traitors to our delusions. Odd. And sad.
• May 27, 2008, Noah writes: Odd and sad is an understatement.