I’m never surprised
to see pain and beauty share
the same DNA

the moment i saw her
she haunted my mind,
a vision in sepia,
with color implied,

and pupils still dancing
in league with her smile
like she was still breathing -
- not frozen in time.

it left me to wonder
what must it be like
to bear such a hunger
and shine such a light?

i wanted to ask her
what lingered inside -
- what flame lit the pilot
that shone in her eyes.

in dreams i still travel
through decades gone by
to beg for an answer
she’ll never confide;

she only informs me
it’s no good to try,
however i chase her,
she’ll never be mine.

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This used to be the Texaco station where I filled up the gas tank when I first started driving. It closed some time ago, and either the owners or the folks in the community opted to turn the old service station structure into a mural. I’m not sure why, but I like it.

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I came here to find
a beauty in the stillness
the world can’t destroy

we spent the evening
communing with stars that chose
to make themselves known

“Come back,
show your face;
can’t you see?
You’re too good
for this place;
can we leave?”
-The Frames (“Suffer in Silence“)

I posted this lyric because every time the song comes up on my mp3 player, I tend to think of any number of girls or women I’ve known who seem to obsess over some idea of beauty or worth as though it were the diametric opposite of what they are.

Such obsessions have always puzzled me, especially since I tend to be amazed by women in general. Often when I point out what I think are signs of beauty, I get some form of reprimand from whomever I’m trying to compliment. It makes me feel like either my concept of beauty is skewed, or they see every reflection of themselves as though it were in a funhouse mirror. Maybe it’s because so many people in general are overly self-critical, but in my epxerience it seems to be more prevalent among females. Which bothers me immensely.

It doesn’t bother me just because my attempts to compliment females end up being rebuffed, but also because I have four young nieces. The idea of any one of them struggling against poisonous self-perceptions or societally-imposed expectations makes me feel a strange combination of sadness and infuriation.

It strikes me that reducing people’s worth to mere surface appearance does severe disservice even to those with the most sparkling veneers. When I get to know a person, the visage I see is influenced by other attributes I come to recognize in them. It’s not unlike the way a person’s sense of taste is affected by their sense of smell – only with a person, there’s much more that goes into the equation.

We shouldn’t become so concerned with one facet of our identities that we discount the other factors making us who we are. And we shouldn’t make the mistake of judging others that way, either. Now, if only a simple blog post could make it so…