when she corresponds,
words are enhanced by the way
she decorates them.

“Come back,
show your face;
can’t you see?
You’re too good
for this place;
can we leave?”
-The Frames (“Suffer in Silence“)

I posted this lyric because every time the song comes up on my mp3 player, I tend to think of any number of girls or women I’ve known who seem to obsess over some idea of beauty or worth as though it were the diametric opposite of what they are.

Such obsessions have always puzzled me, especially since I tend to be amazed by women in general. Often when I point out what I think are signs of beauty, I get some form of reprimand from whomever I’m trying to compliment. It makes me feel like either my concept of beauty is skewed, or they see every reflection of themselves as though it were in a funhouse mirror. Maybe it’s because so many people in general are overly self-critical, but in my epxerience it seems to be more prevalent among females. Which bothers me immensely.

It doesn’t bother me just because my attempts to compliment females end up being rebuffed, but also because I have four young nieces. The idea of any one of them struggling against poisonous self-perceptions or societally-imposed expectations makes me feel a strange combination of sadness and infuriation.

It strikes me that reducing people’s worth to mere surface appearance does severe disservice even to those with the most sparkling veneers. When I get to know a person, the visage I see is influenced by other attributes I come to recognize in them. It’s not unlike the way a person’s sense of taste is affected by their sense of smell – only with a person, there’s much more that goes into the equation.

We shouldn’t become so concerned with one facet of our identities that we discount the other factors making us who we are. And we shouldn’t make the mistake of judging others that way, either. Now, if only a simple blog post could make it so…

I know I’ve never done the Friday random ten thing on this site before, but I was feeling a sense of nostalgia for the old days, so…

Angels on a Passing Train – Marah
Little Martha – Allman Brothers Band
Young Professionals – Stargazer Lily
Munich – Editors
Rise – The Frames
James – Huffamoose
Have You Seen My Love? – Barenaked Ladies
Kites without Strings – 77s
Leave – Glen Hansard
Bella Maria de Mi Alma – Los Lobos

Surprisingly strong set. Starts well. Finishes strong (the last three are favorites).

Other listing fools: Ben, Cziltang, Jessica

is identity
a verdict only read by
adversity’s light?

the world spun faster,
pulling their lives apart by
centrifugal force.

risky ambition:
trying to help people find
what they’re not seeking.

anniversary
no one celebrates, except
the true believers.